We all go through it as some point in life. We all have different ways of dealing with it. We all struggle with self-esteem at times in our lives. I struggled in school with it. Was I pretty enough to get a date? No because I didn't get asked to the dance. Am I smart enough? No because everyone else got an A on the test and I got a B. I have no talent because I didn't make the show choir. A few years later I struggled as a new wife. Is the house clean enough? No there is a spot on the kitchen window that my best friend pointed out. Is my laundry sparkling white and clean? No there is a hole is my husbands sock. Does dinner taste okay? No there is to much salt in the potato's. And then again I struggled with self esteem as a new mother. Can I lose the baby fat fast enough? No I never did. Is the baby sleeping through the night right away? No because I really have no idea what I am doing. Is the baby healthy? No because I'm not breast feeding. We all go through it in life. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe several times. .or all the time. Self doubting ourselves or do we doubt ourselves because of what someone said to us?
Right now I'm in self doubting self esteem low spot. I know it won't last forever because I've been through it before. I'm questioning if I am smart enough for my job or not. Some of this comes from suddenly become one of the oldest members of the team and not the youngest. I am not getting respect with my seniority. It's aggravating. I'm constantly being shoved here or there and things being questioned. Starts working on your self esteem eventually. I know I am good at my job. Not great but good. I love my job but it gets harder and harder to deal with every day. The tears and frustration come daily instead of occasionally.
I'm feeling low self esteem in the friend department. So many friends that I thought were very close friends are no long friends. Not because something has happened. I've just realized that I am the one putting in all the work to the relationship. I backed off and found out just how good of friends I thought these people were. Another low blow to the self esteem. Guess they really weren't my friends. They only contact me when they need something from me. Not to just be my friend.
There is always the self image in the mirror self esteem. yeah so I'm pushing 50. . .I'm over weight but I eat healthy and work out. So I can't wear size 6 jeans like some of my friends. Wait? Friends? What friends? (see above paragraph) I don't feel like I need to wear the latest trends or be dressing like my 23 year old daughter. I feel I dress okay for my age. Not 23 or 73. But there is always that question when you look in the mirror? Do I look okay? No. . this doesn't match this or my shoes are scuffy or I wore this last week will anyone notice? Is my hair okay? No it's not. It's not straight like everyone is wearing it. I still rock the 80's poof. Why? Because I have cowlick and that makes my hair stand up. .might as well go with it instead of fighting it. Much easier. I think I'm aging pretty good. Not many wrinkles. A few fine lines forming here and there but not as clean looking as other people I know. Why can't have their skin?
I am rereading my list of self esteem issues. Can I do something about them? Sure I can. I can keep doing what I am doing because I am me! I'm not everyone else. I can ignore the mirror. I can do my job the best that I know how. I can make new friends. I can continue to eat healthy and work out. I am reminded of the video that circulated a few months ago of the little girl in the mirror in the morning. Jessica's Daily Affirmation. I LIKE ME!
http://youtu.be/qR3rK0kZFkg
